My name is Mandy Hough...
My story with Ripple started when I saw a post about needing financial and health coaches. I had been separated from my husband for over a year and in the midst of a complicated and harrowing divorce. But still, I thought I could give back by helping someone else, still working and taking care of my four children. I was invited to an interview with Magan, and through the interview I learned about her story compared to where I was in mine. She thoughtfully suggested that I may be better suited as a participant. I left feeling defeated because I wanted to help, not be helped. I had spent most of my life on my own since leaving my home state of Michigan. Even in my marriage, I felt alone. I had managed to carry our family through 7 moves in 10 years, always to a new state, and twice while I was in my third trimester of pregnancy.
Now it was time for me to learn how to receive love and help. I needed Ripple, and I didn’t even know it. I grew up with a great mom, but my father was an alcoholic who attempted suicide multiple times. When I was in my early thirties he told me he didn’t want to be in my life. He hasn’t even met two of my children. I have grown up with low self-esteem, battling that and depression most of my life. This led to toxic relationships from the time I was 18. I experienced sexual, verbal, and financial abuse. Over the years I developed anxiety, with panic attacks, and recently found out I have CPTSD.
I have spent the past 3 years working on healing those parts of me so that I could be better for my kids. Mostly I needed to learn how to love myself and to accept myself and my limitations. I had run myself into the ground for years, looking for my self-worth in everyone but myself. The most important things I have learned in the past two years are how to ask for help, to rest and let them help, and to allow them to care for me the way I never felt I deserved. It’s hard to leave a program that has helped me move forward in my personal growth in ways I had never imagined.
In my marriage of ten years, love was based on conditions and duties, but with Ripple there were no requirements to receive the love that was shown to me.
I’m graduating from Ripple having learned that there are seasons for giving and receiving, and I cannot give with an empty bucket. When I wrote my family success plan at the onset of the program, it was really a dream. I never thought I could accomplish it! I cannot be prouder of the fact that I accomplished just about all I set out to do, most importantly securing a house for my kids and me. Secondly worth mentioning is my savings. I have never in my life had a savings, and it has given me such comfort to know that if something happens, I have the financial means to be okay. I can honestly say, for the first time I don’t worry about money like I used to. I am confident that I will be alright.
Currently, I am on the board and do bookkeeping for a nonprofit that helps veterans and trauma victims with PTSD. They utilize horses and other farm animals to provide community and physical activities for their clients.
Following my time in the Ripple program I hope to be more involved either in the business end or as a volunteer. I also have dreams of having my own nonprofit to help women exiting domestic abuse shelters find affordable housing, potentially building a community with communal apartments they would occupy based on a sliding scale according to income. I had spent time in a shelter and afterward struggled to find housing. I believe there is a huge need for this type of support. After experiencing abuse, what you need most is security and safety, so you can heal, grow and take care of your family. I know now too, that even if it feels unobtainable, with hard work, support of those around you, and determination, anything is possible.
If I could tell new participants one thing it would be this: let your walls down and let your Ripple team in to help you. This program is involved, but it is worth it, and the growth you experience will change your life. For those supporting the organization, whether involved as a volunteer, behind the scenes sponsoring a participant, or making financial donations: You have no idea how much your support helps the participants.
There are no words that can truly say “thank you” with the emotion it evokes. I joined Ripple primarily for the community, having no family or friends when I left my marriage 4 years ago. What I found there was family; loved ones who TRULY care and want to see me succeed. I am forever grateful.
With Love,